Downward Spiral
I have been having a tough time this week with motivation. A ton of things to do in the lab, yet I don't know how to do them yet without getting some major help from people. I get frustrated and start getting a little depressed, which makes me oversleep in the morning. So I get in late. Then I feel guilty because I didn't get as much done as I would like, so the next morning I sleep later. More guilt. Today was day three. I got to work at 11:15. Working on my blots now, finishing up some stuff before Ken and I go away for the weekend. Started them late, meaning I'll be here late. Haven't packed yet. More guilt.
Ah, but the plot thickens.
I set up a meeting two-three weeks ago with an immunology professor who has similar interests. I get this email about a half hour ago:
Lisa,
I was waiting for you, but you did not show up. You could at least let me know.
(name deleted)
I check my calendar. Sure enough: 1-2 pm; meeting with (deleted). I haven't even met her yet. Great first impression. I email back and apolgize profusely.
I'm spiraling downward and about to cry.
Nope, I already am.
posted by Lisa @ 2:48 PM
3 Comments:
Hang in there little trooper.
It's always tough to go from a pond you know well to a new pond with bigger fish that you don't know so well.
The extent of my knowledge of the stuff I'm doing? Well, our four person group gave a two hour presentation yesterday. My contribution? 10 slides and about 12 minutes.
Funny, I was kind of bummed out at the end of last week (hence, the purchase of the DVD burner and the resulting, maybe ephemeral, happiness). There are some days when I would like to stay in bed and just get in late. But, I'm pretty sure things will get better. That, and Liz tends to leave for work at 6 in the morning.
If it makes you feel better - I just cried in the NSMA bathroom after a heart-to-heart with your former supervisor. I can't even get a meeting with MY supervisor anymore, and can't get an actual disseration project pinned down (at least you already have that stupid PhD thing). It's just this huge vast void that I find myself fighting through everyday. It depresses me so much I go home and stuff my face and watch movies all night. (Don't sign up for Netflix in this state, whatever you do.)
You totally haul ass and make the best mojitas (and sangria) I've ever had. This probably isn't helping, b/c I always say the wrong thing, but it was a sincere attempt nonetheless. Hang in there. marsha
Looks like a fever sweepin the NSMA ranks, i'm right there with you folks. Though I'm a guy, so I just tough it out and wallow. mmm marriott mojitos, you should trademark that.
Mahalo ya'll
a
just remember, there's always bowling
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